Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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