I wanna passion pit in your ass
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize