Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
