lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
How's work?
Spinning.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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