Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
