JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
