I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Dicks are not precious.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
