I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
