I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
vagina is talking i cant
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
