thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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