What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
