Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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