Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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