Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He shit in the fireplace
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
