I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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