u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
