she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Your cock deserves a montage
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
