At least make sure they are 18
Why
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
