Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Boobs are out for the taking
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
