i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
