And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
