Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We have so much sex to catch up on
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
