I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize