At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
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I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
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I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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