Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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