I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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