I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
