Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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