yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
