This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
