Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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