How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
