Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.

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(515): so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker. http://tfl.nu/m4up

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(415): View more from California

the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.

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(415): the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties. http://tfl.nu/jpbi

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.

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(978): and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic. http://tfl.nu/tsdy

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was

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(203): I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was http://tfl.nu/myop

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(301): View more from Maryland

I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."

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(301): I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free." http://tfl.nu/6sne

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(707): View more from California

I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.

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(707): I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it. http://tfl.nu/727e

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

he asked me to hangout with him...and his son

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(413): he asked me to hangout with him...and his son http://tfl.nu/p42y

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(816): View more from Missouri

apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom

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(816): apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom http://tfl.nu/n80z

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(516): View more from New York

will barter weed for kareoke machine...

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(516): will barter weed for kareoke machine... http://tfl.nu/46ic

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning

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(412): we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning http://tfl.nu/vjbm

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(515): View more from Iowa

Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.

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(515): Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad. http://tfl.nu/2fcz

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(702): View more from Nevada

I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito

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(702): I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito http://tfl.nu/vmgk

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.

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(931): Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned. http://tfl.nu/a2rg

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(949): View more from California

i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.

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(949): i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed. http://tfl.nu/mfiw

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.

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(843): I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done. http://tfl.nu/68sv

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