My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish