"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.