I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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