we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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