u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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