did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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