you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
