I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
