I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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