why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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