3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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