what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
