I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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