so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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