I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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