I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Rumble strips road head = magical
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
