His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize