I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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