So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
