I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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