we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize