it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
