The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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