you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
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