I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
