How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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