Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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