soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
