Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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