At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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